Tag Archive: humor


All In Good Fun

During my husbands mid morning nap the other day I realized why the praying mantis, black widow spiders and scorpions eats their mates. The obvious reason of course being who doesn’t enjoy a post coitus snack. However as I cleaned my house as my husband slept I realize they do it to save them their sanity and to avoid the stress brought on by the males of the species.

The praying mantis clearly knew what she was doing, with kids on the way that she would now have to share her food with why would she keep around a man who was just going to eat the last of the ice cream and not go out and buy more. Not to mention the money she was saving not having to feed him three meals a day with about six or seven snacks in between. With fewer dishes to wash and less time spent at the grocery store not having to go back through the cart and pull out all the junk her mate put in when she wasn’t looking the praying mantis is truly a brilliant woman.

I’m sure though that the black widow spider considered keeping her mate, hey who knows maybe he will help with all the diapers and chores around the web. Alas she quickly found out that he was just one more child and one more chore she would have to take care off, so she ate him. The male of the species was not contributing to the society of her home, he changed no diapers, fixed no bottles, did not one load of laundry, nor did he wash a single dish. I’m sure however that he did complain about the way she did all of these things and considered it his contribution. So I for one do not blame the black widow spider for ridding herself of her mate.

Laziness an inherent trait amongst the males of most if not all species, spending most of their time napping. If you don’t believe me ask the lioness who hunts and raises cubs while the lion lays about. Unlike the lioness the scorpion would not put up with it and poisoned her over sleeping excessively napping self. The first night he woke her up at 2 am on the first night the baby had stayed a sleep and tried to seduce her was his last. The total disregard for the importance of sleep to mother just because he got as much as he wanted and the audacity when that he would complain of tiredness more than justified her actions.

I have considered before taking a page out of the book of the praying mantis, black widow spider, or the scorpion, but like the lioness I put up with it because I love him. He should be wary of me though and perhaps clean up his act because I haven’t ruled it out entirely.

Being a mom I have learned that the scariest sound in the world is silence. I know that when I get a moment of peace and all is quiet that something is horribly wrong and I probably don’t want to know what it is.

Today for example I was sitting down, feeding Tanis and he just drifted off to sleep when I heard it, nothing. I look around trying to locate Carys, who was just minutes ago sitting on the floor stacking blocks and singing but has suddenly disappeared. I quietly call for her not wanting to wake Tanis and she pokes her head out of the dining room with an innocent “huh?” I ask her what shes doing and she naturally responds with the dreaded word “nothing”

Now I know I am in trouble toddlers never do “nothing”

I gently set Tanis down and go out to her and immediately wish I hadn’t. There is cat food everywhere! A whole 17 pound bag scattered across the floor, on the table, the chairs, in the open cupboard that the bag was in, in the vents and on the window sill. I’m speechless taking in the mess when Carys hands me a spoon and smiles, of course I laugh and can now no longer yell at her.

Luckily she has just as much fun helping me pick the food back up as she did getting it out. Now I plan to strive to never have quiet moments or at the very least catch them sooner and put a stop to it. Truly words I never thought I would say, but I hate when its quiet.